He said

Catnip

He said,
“My poems to you-
You can’t write on WordPress
You can’t scribble down-
pass over to friend

This is how I make you feel like
Like a teenager again
Like it’s excessive oxygen to breathe
And now you can’t even look directly at my face
And now you can’t even breathe”

 

 

 

and now
 I can't even breathe

The Dreadful Countdown

Catnip

Christmas is nearing
I stay frozen, eyeing it
as if it’s a dreadful creature

crawling closer to get me…

It’s always been like this since you gone…
days of celebration
birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year
All mutated into scary monsters
hiding in calendar corners,
waiting to inflict slow poison pain on me

Shopping, wrapping, singing, fellowship dinners
make no sense anymore…
Innocent to gallows
they all to me

I cringe with fear

Fear of fake smile plastered to my face
Fear of small talk that I cannot relate
When all I’m only possible of is
Heroin trance with complete silence

Fear of guilt that follows afterward
knowing it’s not their fault
that I cannot be happy without you

I am just fed up

they looking at me
as if I’m a failed terrorist
still adamant about a long forgotten ideology

Last Christmas
I was blessed enough
To forge a fight
To hide in the shadow of upset
Isn’t it lame to play the same trick twice in a row?

So this time?

Should I run away?

I knew I’d miss you of course…
But didn’t
that you’ll make me stumble this long…

Come back, I want to kill you…

Tiger

Catnip

PicsArt_1443452441421

For you my love
I’d leave everything…

My friends say
Look at him, what are you thinking??
Find one from our own…
What do they mean?
Deep down I feel we belong to the same family

They say I’m just domestic,
Not fit for jungle
Will miss my satin pillows…
What do they mean?
I’m always gonna sleep on top of you, warm
Secure from the whole world

They say you are rough,
That you don’t understand like us,
One day your anger or hunger will finish me off…
What do they mean?

They don’t understand that 

I don’t mind…

With love,
Kitty